Jesus Where Were You

Plastic, spastic Jesus hanging on the wall Where were you when I called? Oh, Jesus where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was getting screwed? Were you up in Heaven having morning tea Saying, ‘Everything's OK with me, Dad Earth is doing fine; things are going swell There's a man down there paving his way to Hell Pity about the kid, but you always get a victim When somebody feels that bad.’? Oh, Jesus where were you when I called your name When my poor little arse was consumed by flame? Didn't you hear when I screamed out ‘Lord!’ Or were you just feeling bored, mate? Watching TV with the phone off the hook Reading the latest good book? Pity about the children: ‘Suffer them to come.’ Did you mean from a father's hate? Oh, Jesus where were you when Daddy reamed me out? Where are you when I scream and shout? I'm on my stomach, pounding my head Being suffocated in the middle of the bed, Lord And you're out playing golf, or drinking in the clubhouse Reliving your round with Peter and Thomas Pity about me: my father's hole-in-one Was a whole lot arsier than yours! Oh, Jesus where were you when my Mummy held her tongue? Were you preaching to the crowds of Kingdom Come? Playing to the punters: miracles galore! Water into wine, and a whole lot more, Christ? Raising the dead while my Daddy's raising Cain And I'm underneath him in so much pain? ‘Blessed are the children’, I think that's what you said Maybe the text should be revised Oh, Jesus where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I was getting screwed? Were you out in the sunshine with the lilies of the field Or at the doctor's, getting the wounds in your hands healed, Son? How come you left me down here on my own No reply to my message on your answer-phone? Pity about me; but who can worry about the children When you're out having so much fun? Oh plastic, spastic Jesus hanging on the wall Where were you when I called?