Morning Roundup (After a Tale by Bill Scott)

Yesterday morning I went out into the kitchen To brew a cup of tea and make some toast And I noticed straight away that a carpet snake was hitching Itself around the light-tube with its fore-end hither-most I had a rapid think about just what I could do To try and bring that shag-pile reptile down And I fashioned with some care, a makeshift sort of lasso From the twisted scarlet cord that ties my dressing-gown I twirled it round my head like a proper jackaroo Threw truly - had it snared in half a wink But contrived (it beats me how) to snag the fluorescent too And it smashed to smithereens when it hit against the sink I’m standing there half naked with a snake hitched by a rope Bare-footed in a sea of broken glass And I’m thankful it’s a python with which I have to cope A red-bellied black by now would have bit me on the … Ah strewth, you can be so lucky sometimes I reckon