Tas Mania

I’m in a state, I’m affected by Tas mania Mainlanders think it is a terrible disease They say we’re the dag on the butt of Australia But that’s just compensation for their repressed jealousies We’re more ‘girt by sea’ than all the other states We can hit the ocean whichever way we take Which is why you see so many rusty number plates And most people drive with one foot on the brake Our winds down here could blow theirs to smithereens We can windsurf and fly kites every single day And if we can get some agreement from the Greens Make power in an environmentally friendly way We’ve got the Devil, they’ve only got the dingo Ours is more exotic and a cartoon star Theirs is trying to catch up by learning a new lingo To grab a walk-on part in an opera I’m in a state, I’m affected by Tas mania Mainlanders think it is a terminal disease They can’t recognise natural euphoria They’ve never walked through fields of opium poppies We’re closer to the hole in the Ozone Layer We’ve more UV than they could poke at with a stick We can tan down here when the sun’s not a player Which is handy in the summer when the cloud’s so thick Their ski season is usually a bummer Their hills hardly ever carry decent snow We get good cover in the middle of summer And can ski at night to the bushfire’s glow We get three weeks of extra summer daylight Which we can save for when things gets dark It comes in handy to illuminate our campsite When we’re hunting for Tigers in the National Park I’m in a state, I’m affected by Tas mania Mainlanders think it is a contagious disease They think we’re safely quarantined south of Victoria They have no idea what we put in our cheese The only thing I’m sick of is the rest of Australia Making two headed Tassie jokes everyday Why don’t we admit that the union is a failure Cut the mooring ropes and just let them float away Let those ten toed, bi-legged, dual armed, lone brained, mono heads gently float away