Best Female Lead
Janet Gaynor’s in Heaven
For this morning at 7
A Street Angel at Sunrise
Gave her a big surprise
But Mary Pickford
Picked up her statuette
For acting bored
In Coquette
Norma Shearer is saucy in The Divorcee
Marie Dressler is a minx in Min and Bill
Helen Hayes in The Sin of Madelon Claudet
Shows enough to give any boy a thrill
Morning Glory for Kathy Hepburn
Night-ly Happen-ings for Colbert
Dangerous Davis causes heartburn
Luise Rainer feels hurt
She’s classed Great in Ziegfeld
But only Good in Earth
Davis discovers herself Jezebell-ed
Leigh’s Gone with the Wind that’s expelled
Can Ginger Roger’s Kitty Foyle
Joan Fontaine’s Suspicion?
Can Garson and Mrs Miniver toil
To get Jenny Jones in the right position
To sing The Song of Bernadette?
Can Bergman get the Gaslight set?
Can Crawford and Mildred Pierce
de Havilland’s insouciance
(‘To Each His Own’ says she)?
The Young Farmer’s Daughter can act quite fierce
Jane Wyman and Belinda can show defiance
And de Hav-
illand can have
The Heiress over for tea
Judy Holliday
Wasn’t Born Yesterday
A Streetcar’s Named Desire for Leigh
Shirley Booth cries ‘Come Back, Little She-
ba, you’re the one I want to see’
Hepburn, Audrey
Takes a Roman Holiday
Kelly plays The Country Girl Gracefully
Anna Magnini has a Rose Tattoo
Anastasia Bergman wants one too
Woodward reveals The Three Faces of Eve
Hayward screams ‘I Want to Live!’
Signoret has a Room at the Top with a view
Taylor spreads Butter in the field at 8
Loren and Two Women are fashionably late
Bancroft Works Miracles with a portrait
Patricia Neal sHud-ders and insists on calling
Julies, Andrews ‘Poppins ’ and Christie ‘Darling ’
Taylor’s not Afraid of V. Woolf at all
Kate Hepburn can Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
And The Winter Lion with Streisand’s Funny Girl
Makes her a joint winner
Maggie Smith solo has a wonderful time
Calculating Miss Jean Brodie’s Prime
Glenda Jackson says Women in Love
With Jane Fonda are somewhat Klute
Minnelli’s Cabaret can give
Jackson A Touch of Class, you beaut
But Burstyn makes Alice Live
Not Here, but elsewhere in a Ute
Fletcher flees the Cuckoo’s Nest
Network works for Dunaway
Keaton hears Annie Hall attest
Fonda’s Coming Home to stay
With Sally Field and Norma Rae
Spacek’s not Sissy as the Coal Miner’s Daughter
Hepburn makes it 4 On Golden Pond
Streep wants Sophie’s Choice to exclude slaughter
MacLaine’s Terms of Endearment include ‘I’m fairly fond’
Field Places in the Heart of the cauldron
For Geraldine Page to see
A Bountiful Trip to a Lesser God’s Children
Mothered by Matlin, Marlee
Moonstruck Cher is most bemused
When Jodie Foster fronts The Accused
And constantly Driving Miss Daisy
Drives Jessica Tandy crazy
Kathy Bates feels Misery
When Foster’s Lambs are Silent
And Emma Thompson tickles Howard’s End
The Piano Hunter’s hosiery
And Lange’s Blue Sky scent
Mask the Dead Man Walking round Sarandon’s bend
Francis McDormand to walk has a Far go
Helen Hunt’s As Good As a bank
Shakespeare’s in Love with Gwyneth Paltrow
But Boys Don’t Cry over Hilary Swank
Julia Roberts jilts Erin Brockovich
And Halley Berry at the Monster’s Ball
Nichole Kidman wants to be a witch
But can’t spare The Hours to be on call
Charlize Theron puts on weight
Eating burgers at the Monster Fete
Hilary Swank is rank
As a Million Dollar Baby
But Rees Witherspoon says maybe
‘I Can Walk the Line’
Helen Mirren is royal as The Queen
While Marion Cotillard
Finds it hard
In ‘en Rose - La Vie’
Kate Winslet is a Reader
As a outback leader
Sandra Bullock is on The Blind Side naturally
Portman, Natalie
Is a Black Swan
Meryl Streep embodies The Iron Lady
But Jennifer Lawrence’s Silver Lining
Is more shady
Cate Blanchett must get made
By Blue Jasmine
Julianne Moore is not sure
She is Still Alive
Trying to disprove
Brie Larson has Room to move
Emma Stone is in La La Land
Trying to understand
Frances McDormand’s Three Billboards which rate
Olivia Colman’s Favourite
Renée Zellweger drops Punch for Judy
Frances McDormand goes to Nomadland as a dunce
Jessica Chastain has Eyes for Tammy Faye to go
While Michelle Yeoh
Has Everything Everywhere All at Once
What delight it can bring
To hear Emma Stone say ‘You Poor Thing’
And Mikey Madison can adore a
Stint as AnoraJessieBuckleyWhat a starletStars in Hamnet