Underpants

The day that you left me you brought me to my knees You took all my credit cards, my money and my keys But the thing that I can’t fathom which drives me to despair Is why you would take all my underwear What did you take my underpants for? I could understand the jumper that you used to adore Or even the socks that you sometimes wore But what did you take my underpants for? They weren’t at all exclusive or particularly fine Just plain cotton boxers that I used to call mine Some had frayed elastic and at least one had a tear So what use to you is my underwear? What did you take my underpants for? I could understand some shoes for that dog of yours to gnaw Or even the boater made of plaited straw But what did you take my underpants for? Is this some kind of message that I don’t understand? Was it spur of the moment or something that you planned? Is it highly symbolic or neither here nor there That you skedaddled with my underwear? What did you take my underpants for? I could understand the scarf that you'd borrowed before Or even the T-shirt that says ‘Stuff your sodding war’ But what did you take my underpants for? What did you take my underpants for? Did you keep them for yourself or give them to the poor? Are they in plain sight or hidden in a drawer? Oh what did you take my underpants for? What did you take my underpants for? I could understand better if you’d nailed them to the floor Or cut them to ribbons with the old chainsaw But what did you take my underpants for?