The Ballad of Isaac Newton
An apple fell on Isaac Newton’s head
Hi down derry, derry down dee
And this is what the young man said
'I think I’ve just discovered Gravity'
His fiancee said 'I thought it humorous
You looked quite droll as a matter of fact'
He said 'By gravity I didn’t mean gloominess
I meant in the way that bodies attract'
She said 'Darling, you mean romantically?
I’ve heard tis love makes the world go round'
He said 'No, a force acting more cosmologically
That determines how all matter is bound'
Then he said to her (much to her surprise)
'Why do things fall down and not fall up?'
She said 'Snookums, it couldn’t be. Otherwise
How would one keep one’s tea in one’s cup'
He said 'There’s a law'. She looked quizzical
'You mean like the Law embodied in the Crown?”
He said 'No, a law that’s much more physical
That calculates the rate at which things fall down'
He said 'This problem must answer to deduction
If Kepler is right an "Inverse Square" should do
To prove it I’ll just use my "Method of Fluxions"'
She said 'Sweetheart, one lump or two?'
He said 'Later dear, this is not a masquerade
I’ve found a way to uncover Nature’s truth'
He wrote on his napkin with a fork dipped in marmalade
She said 'Isaac, that’s most uncouth!'
He said 'Hush dear, I’m trying hard to concentrate
Your chatter is distracting, I’ll forget where I am'
She said 'Ahhh … Mother wants to know if you’ve set a date'
He said 'Bloody hell!', and then he said 'Damn!'
She slapped his face and said 'How dare you cuss
In front of me you despicable cad!'
Newton never married. But he did invent the Calculus
And the Law of Gravitation. All in all that's not so bad
An apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton’s head
Hi down derry, fol de diddle dee
And this is what the great man said
'I think I'll have an apple pie for my tea'