The Valedictory Turn (Tune - Ascot Gavotte: My Fair Lady)

When one thinks of 1964 one's mind flits over such important events as Khrushchev's resignation, the Labour win in England, the Valedictory Dinner. This latter event is no doubt vividly etched into the memories of all who attended, and has been related enthusiastically to one and all. Even so, some incidents may have been suppressed forgotten. This song hopes to preserve every highlight and revive fond memories - the wine, the candlelight, the full toilets, the hangovers, … Every tutor, the students and the staff were there Even Sam in his High Chair was there There was no one missing They were busy … drinking At the Valedictory Turn Scholing, carousing We have never seen such boozing Taking up his post Well fortified with Fost … er's Lager Our president Stood to present The Valedictory Toast Oh the jokes he told were crude and pornographic Really made us squirm And some silly boogger Started throwing rolls and sugar All about the Dining Room Sugar pellets Nearly as effective as bullets Then to all and each The Warden did beseech Please take this brief Time of relief Before the Official Speech What a speech that was he had no knowledge That we would be so outspoken Oh the poor cuss What a bloody raucous reception At the Valedictory Turn Insults shouted Someone said that 'he should drop dead' When the end came near There was a mighty cheer A massive ding In either wing With copious supplies of beer (Note to self: ensure copious supplies for this year) There are just a few suggestions we would like To give you for this year Don't schol sherry We want you to be merry Not to chunder on the stair But please don't think that we are asking you All the drink to spurn We want a success Not a great muck and mess At this Valedictory Turn