Cricket (Tune - Original?)
Cricket is an ancient game played on English turf
An institution quite as old as the pounding of the surf
But one of its rules was made relatively just of late
And it’s on its introduction that I’d like to dissertate
The rule of which I speak is the one that says that play
Shall suffer an adjournment on a dark or rainy day
For in the early days as you’ll subsequently find
The English suffered most when the weather was unkind
When the Romans came to challenge the Ancient Briton team
‘Weeny, weedy, weaky’ Caesar was upset in the extreme
For the crack English players, the chief exponents of the code
Looked very tough opponents in their bright blue woad
The psychological advantage augured for them well
Until the second day when it began to rain like hell
For as their fearsome aspect washed away into the soils
The Romans rallied round to take the victory and the spoils
In the Norman-England Test that was held on Hastings’ plain
Harold wanted a postponement due to bad light and to rain
But as he called the umpires and pointed to the sky
A beer can from the outer hit him squarely in the eye
He had to leave the field so the appeal was never made
And with their captain gone the English team was quite outplayed
So at the tea adjournment when the players left the ground
The trophy had the Norman flag securely draped around
Against the American Independents, England had a chance
For they’d thoughtfully revised the rule book in advance
But once again they lost because of their omission
To bring it to the notice of the opposition
So when it started raining and the English called a day
The Colonials kept on scoring in a most unsporting way
And as they would not relinquish when the umpire’s did explain
The English team withdrew and has not gone back again
Now ever since that time the rule has been made clear
‘It just isn’t cricket if the weather’s damp or drear’
And once again the English have prospered at the sport
Just as they did when Henry beat the French at Agincourt
While Drake’s successful tour against the mighty team of Spain
Was directly related to a distinct lack of rain *
So if you’re fond of England please never feel dismay
When you hear these three words broadcast - 'Rain Stopped Play'
* This is a slight bending of the truth. The Spanish Armada was principally destroyed by a large gale in the English Channel. Proof, if any was needed, that God is indeed an Englishman.
* This is a slight bending of the truth. The Spanish Armada was principally destroyed by a large gale in the English Channel. Proof, if any was needed, that God is indeed an Englishman.